How Much Time is Enough in Spending Time With Your Kids?

How much time is enough in spending time with your kids? It's a fair question. We all ponder this question quite often. If we are parents working inside the home or outside the home, there is always money to be made and work to be done. There is, also, always those children who need your attention. It seems like parents are always pulled in so many directions, and it gets confusing which way to turn. Most of the time, we second guess ourselves, and still do not find the right answer. Well, I can attempt to help you find the answer right now.

Have you ever learned the power of a daily routine? A daily routine involves sticking with a set of tasks that you complete every day, in order to make sure the most important aspects of your life are taken care of. This routine only has to involve a small portion of your day, because you do have work to do and people to see. It is a busy life we live. After all, we are pretty complex creations, and we live in a complex world. It takes a lot of work to live life to the fullest.

In considering a daily  routine, I believe spending time with your children works the same way. You cannot just leave it all for the weekend and expect them to feel loved and appreciated. In the same way, you cannot just leave the exercise for the weekend and expect to get into shape. It needs to be a daily practice.

So, you may be thinking, "Well, of course I spend time with my kids everyday. I get them ready for school, cook them dinner, clean them up, and do it all again the next day." I'm sorry to say, but that does not count. If that is the best you can do for the time, I understand. However, you should put goals in place to spend more quality time with your children. Your kids are valuable, as you already know. They need your undivided attention every day.

Let's clarify what I consider undivided attention, and then we can look into the question of "How much time is enough?" Undivided attention is not exactly undivided. It just does not involve work (i.e. cleaning the house, cooking dinner, etc.). It can involve reading your kids a story, singing a song, playing a game, running around outside. It involves a time when you and your family are valuing one another and enjoying each other's company. It is a time that your children will cherish.

You may be wondering, "Does this involve the television?" I am happy to say "NO." As you have heard, your brain is more active when you are sleeping than it is when you are watching TV. How often have you been watching TV and hours later you completely forgot that other people were in the room? Exactly. Trust me, they would much rather be dancing around the living room than participating in an activity that does not really involve them anyways. As grown-ups, we realize that it was the quality time with our family that mattered the most, and made the greatest impact in our lives.

Does this mean no television? No. I am just suggesting that you do not consider it to be the undivided attention that you give your children every day.

Let's return to the original question. How much time should this be that we focus on our children? I think a great goal is one hour per day of undivided attention. That could be a half hour in the morning just talking and drinking some hot tea and a half hour in the evening doing a family devotional. It could be a half hour in the morning getting some fresh air outdoors as a family and a half hour in the evening playing basketball. It could involve taking a break in the middle of the day and just hanging out with your little ones.  These times can be completely unique to your family. They are special to your children, and will be invaluable in shaping your relationships with one another. Do what you enjoy together, and the joy will be ever-present in your home.

Yours truly,
~Melissa Seng