Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Three Steps to Getting Your Kids to Listen

I recently wrote a blog on "How to Use the 'I'm Going to Count to Three' Rule in Parenting." The blog was all about discipline, and getting your children to listen when they give you push-back.

Today, I want to tell you about how to get your children to listen without giving you push-back. It's a proactive approach, and a way of instructing and leading them to obedience. We always have to be one step ahead of our children, and here's how to do it.

It needs to be a three-step process. But, before I explain it, think about this. How often are you telling your children to do something during the day? How often do they respond with a lack of excitement? Does that make the tasks drag on, de-energizing you and the entire family? What if there was a different approach that would be a relief to you and a joy to your family?

The process is a way for effective communication. It's telling your children your expectations in advance, and laying out the rewards. It's letting them decide to listen for the benefit of everyone. We, as parents, have a lot of responsibilities, and we can use this process to work as a team.

The 3 step process is formed by you,  but here is how to do it. Think about your busiest times of your day, when you really need your kids to behave -- possibly the morning, the evening, and whenever you go out in public. In each of these times, come up with 3 steps for accomplishing your tasks.

An example (for the evening) could be...

1. Pick up 
2. Get cleaned up 
3. Snacks and have some fun! 

As you use the process, here are some tips to remember...
*Repeat the process.
*Make your children repeat it back to you.
*Remind them what step you are on as you go.
*Remember to reward them with step #3.

This approach can help your kids to stay focused, and it can help you to stay productive even on the stressful days. Your attitude towards your family will naturally transform from pushy to positive and proactive.

As Christians, our lives are moving in a positive direction, in an upward spiral, as Pastor Dave Cass described it. So we can have joy in all we do before we even step into God's eternal Kingdom.

No comments:

Post a Comment