How to Use the "I'm Going to Count to Three" Rule in Parenting

You are probably thinking that this is going to be a really short blog. All I have to do is remind you how to count to three with authority in your voice. Right? Well, not exactly. I want to give you some tips on using the "I'm going to count to three" rule, including when and how it works best. They are not tried and true for every situation or kid. But, I believe they might help.

First of all, I suggest counting backwards. When you count forwards, your children could start to think that it's a game, and they can just let you keep counting. Especially as they are learning numbers, they might actually enjoy hearing you count for them.On the other hand, when you count backwards, there is a definite stopping point. Kids do not expect their parents to go into the negative numbers (if they even know about negative numbers), so they tend to take you more seriously.

Second, start with the number five. You want to teach your children to think and make wise decisions, not to be robots. In three seconds, they only have time to react, emotionally, or just without thinking. Five seconds gives them more time to think clearly and decide if they want to listen and be rewarded (with positive affirmation) or not listen and get punished. A longer period of time helps in training them to develop good character and decision-making skills.

That brings me to another point. Third, be patient and teach your children to think through their dilemma. When you rush them, they only respond with negative emotions. Children can make more wise decisions if they are not rushed, and if they are not making decisions based on emotion. You want them to make choices because they care to listen and they know it is the right thing to do. You, also, will be rewarded in the process.

Thanks for reading!

~Melissa Seng