Friday, May 19, 2017

Giving Your Kids Some Slack

Kids are unpredictable. They can be emotional, energetic, compassionate, and kind all in the same few moments. One minute they are upset, the next they are excited about the new adventures that await. Kids at all ages encounter new experiences and learn the good, the bad, and the ugly about life, all while we, as parents, get showered in their emotions of the time. At one moment, kids may be excited about losing a tooth, and the next they are screaming in pain, or completely weirded out that something so solid just came falling out of their mouth. Kids may be roudy and unbearable and, within seconds, they have fallen sound asleep, leaving you to a peaceful house.

I find that these changing emotions and new experiences require us to give our kids some slack. We need to not get caught up in the emotions, and use our brains, instead. If our children are throwing a fit, we need to ask ourselves a few questions. Are they hungry? Was I too caught up in what I was doing that I forgot to get them a snack? Are they tired? Do they feel neglected? Have I been so busy that I have not paid much attention to them today?

These questions are not for the purpose of excusing our children from misbehavior. They are meant to recognize if our children are in need of food/water/rest/comfort and care. We can address the behavior after we have provided the basic needs. Our hearts and our bodies tell us when we are in need. We were created that way. So, instead of getting upset at your children, use they emotions to help you recognize when they are in need.

My husband and I agree that we cannot excuse bad behavior; however, it would be counter-productive to ignore your children's outcries for attention. When you show compassion to them, they will learn to show compassion for others. If they feel that they are heard, their emotional roller coasters will become more like a train ride through the park. You will be on the journey together, headed in the same direction.

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