(Re-posted from 5-17-17)
Just the other day, I had a revelation that I want to share with you. It was a busy day, and my husband and I were getting a lot of work done around the house. He was so helpful, as always, and I was very thankful for his work. He had helped me with the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, yard work, and taking care of our two boys. We work almost like we are running a relay race, to tell you the truth. I entertain our kids and ask my husband to do certain tasks. Then, after a little bit, I hand our 5-month-old off to him, and I continue with the work to be done. Running around, handing the baton back and forth, seems to be a very effective method for getting things done.
Well, the day was finally slowing down, and an interesting thought came to my mind. I know this sounds crazy, but I realized something life-changing (possibly, for my husband, that is!). I realized that not once in all of those 24 hours did my husband ask me to do anything! ... I was in awe. That whole day I had been giving him instructions and asking him for help, and not once did he ask me to do anything for him.
I told my husband what I had realized, and he just gave me a smile and laughed. I listen to talks on marriage, but this was a new revelation. One expert in the area of relationships is Mark Gungor. His wisdom and originality brings helpful teaching to the world of marriage. I remember him saying the laundry can be in the center of the room, blocking the television, blocking a direct route to the kitchen, but unless you ask (twice!), he will not even realize the room looks any different. He taught that he could go to the grocery store completely confident in what he is buying for his wife. He will be so confident that he does not even bring a list. He buys what he needs, comes home, and realizes, through his wife's expressions, that he totally forgot what she needed.
Until now, I thought men were just forgetful by nature, confidently forgetful. You see your husband look like a million bucks as he strides out the door, eager to go run some errands to make you, his beloved wife, happy. Thanks to cell phones, you can call him half-way through to check up on him and make sure he is doing okay. After realizing that he has forgotten what he is looking for, we ask ourselves, once again, are our husbands just that forgetful?
You may be surprised to find that my answer is no. I learned recently that women sometimes speak at least three times as much as men, meaning the rate that the words just come out of our mouth is way too much for our husbands to hear, let alone remember. That does not mean we have to necessarily slow down when we are talking, but it does mean we should give our husbands some slack. We should listen to ourselves, and ask, "If someone were giving me those instructions, would I remember them?" "If someone gave me those directions, could I follow them?" "Would I forget things from time to time, if I were receiving instructions all day long?" Give your husband some slack.
The encouragement I want to give to you comes from my husband. When I asked him about this revelation, after apologizing for all of my orders that day, he said to me, "The man is the head of the household, but the woman is in charge of the affairs of the house." God can use women in taking care of the home, and we must, at times, instruct others in these matters. When we pair our gifts with kindness and patience, it brings peace to everyone in the home.
Thanks for reading!
Melissa Seng
Good writing!
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