Decreasing Sibling Rivalry Among Your Kids

This morning I was thinking about sibling rivalry, one of the main reasons why kids argue. Our kids want to compete to earn what the other one has. The ironic part of conflict under these circumstances is that kids cannot get what they are seeking.

Kids seek after position. Younger kids want to be older so that they have privileges. Older kids want to be younger so that they can get more attention. Every argument between our children ends up being one child seeking the position of the other child. As a result, our kids begin fighting a losing battle.

How do we deal with this sibling rivalry? We are careful in our words and actions. Instead of granting rewards based on position, we grant them based on hard work and character. Instead of saying "Your sister can do ... because she is the oldest," say "Your sister can do ... because she has worked hard enough to accomplish her goal." That is teaching kids that they can be rewarded based on hard work, not age or position.

Second, grant rewards out of love and care. Rather than being tough on an oldest children, give them grace because you care for them. We tend to reward our oldest children the least and punish them the most. When we give them grace, they are relieved from the pressures of life, and they will not use their position against their siblings. However, if we are too tough on them, they see that all that they endured has given them positional authority and a right to an inflated self-esteem. This will not serve them well in life. Kids can learn to lead and do good for one another by serving and caring for one another. As parents, we need to encourage goodness by showing them grace.

Third, grant rewards based on the interests of your kids. One child might really appreciate you taking him to see a movie. Another child might appreciate going to the park. Another child might like you to make him a special dessert for the day. Siblings can be happy for one another when Mom and Dad have taken the time to be a blessing and show that they care.

Thanks for reading!

~Melissa Seng

Keeping Yourself Healthy for the Holidays!

In our daily lives, I have found a few topics to be important. These topics have become my focal points in writing. When you become better in these areas, your life changes drastically for the better. The areas are Faith, Family, Fitness, and Food.

Faith determines our outlook on life. Faith in God gives us peace; faith in His Son gives us eternal security. Hebrews 11:3 tells us that "by faith we understand that the Universe was formed at God's command." When we have faith in God's Word, we gain direction, wisdom, and understanding. Family and fitness are the other topics, but in this blog I want to focus on food.

Just like faith, food has the power to impact every area of our lives. It has the power to give us strength and energy to enjoy our families. It has the power to make us ill, so that we cannot focus even on growing our faith. Food can help us to be excited about life, or it can take all the excitement right from us. 

It is fascinating to know that God values what we eat. He put some of the best foods in the Promised Land for His people. It was the land of milk and honey, but it also had pomegranates, olive oil, and much more. Genesis 1:29 tells us that God gave us "every seed-bearing plant...and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food." God made food that would be healing to the body and strength to our bones.

In our imperfect world, we come across a lot of food that is not healing to the body. The Daniel Plan tells us that MSG's, hidden in foods, cause hunger, headaches, allergies, and damage to the gut (2013). They triple your insulin production and lead to the storage of belly fat. Visceral fat sends toxins to your organs and stress hormones to the brain. 

Food can cause inflammation, which can lead to dementia, diabetes, cancer, and heart attack. Dr. Mehmet Oz in Food Can Fix It tells us that inflammation even sends signals to the brain to bring about feelings of depression (2017). 

Stress and depression is not just all in our head; it is actually real, and it can be caused by food! I experienced exactly what both of these doctors talk about in the books I mention above. Inflammation led to stress and feelings of depression. That's when I was introduced to natural healing through natural foods and supplements. A doctor who practiced holistic medicine saw that the changes in people's health were far more promising. 

I took a multivitamin, fish oil, and a probiotic, which is what The Daniel Plan teaches. Without exercise, weight-loss and feeling great seemed effortless, while eating natural foods. Dr. Oz promotes omega-3's to decrease inflammation and help the body adapt to stress (2017). He encourages phytonutrients to help detoxify the body and fight disease. He teaches that he could heal with steel, but long term health and vitality in life comes from nutrition. 

I hope you check out my website so that you, too, can get supplements that are made from beginning to end on an organic farm. Visit www.amway.com/melissaseng and the Nutrilite US Facebook page to keep yourself healthy for your family this holiday season and many more to come. 

Thanks for reading!

~Melissa Seng

References:

Oz, Dr. Mehmet. (2017). Food Can Fix It. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Warren, Rick, Amen, Daniel, & Hyman, Mark. (2013). The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

God Warns Against A King

The story of Samuel is a great one. Samuel grows up serving the Lord, and he is a strong figure in Scripture. In 1 Samuel 8, the people of Israel came to him, asking him for a king. They wanted someone to rule over them, someone to have the power to make things happen. What they didn't realize is that a king might not be on their side. A king might put his own interests first, and while he could lead an army, he could also take all of their rights away.

Samuel warned the people, "Here's what the king who rules over you will expect to be done for him. He will take your sons. He'll make them serve with his chariots and horses...others will have to plow his fields...He will take away your best fields and vineyards and olive groves...He'll take your best cattle and donkeys." Samuel tells them, "You yourselves will become his slaves (1 Samuel 8:10-17)."

The people insisted, "No! We want a king to rule over us. Then, we'll be like all the other nations..He'll go out at the head of our armies and fight our battles (1 Samuel 8:19-20)."

What is interesting is that God had already established the 10 Commandments, which would allow the people to honor God and live in a civilized society. God told them, through Moses to have no other gods, to not commit adultery, to not bear false witness, to not murder, to honor their father and mother, to not steal. In doing so, they could certainly have a civilized society without a king.

You might ask, who then would be in charge of protecting the country? God had already led the people out of slavery, protected them in the desert, defeated powerful armies. And, he did all of that without a king. He chose people, who honored Him, including Moses, Joshua, and Gideon to do what seemed impossible. But, still the people wanted a king.

Saul was a tall, handsome man. He was a leader who, the people thought, could propagate sin. They wanted to worship false gods; they wanted to disobey God. At least a king could be on their side.

People do the same in our day. They elect leaders to propagate sin and promote acts that are directly contrary to Scripture, including murder and homosexuality. They celebrate taking God's Word out of businesses and institutions. The people in 1 Samuel were all about propagating sin through a strong leader.

Fortunately, we can see a country succeed when the leadership recognizes God as the King. Moses  and Joshua were imperfect people, but their strength and goodness came from trusting in God. They defeated powerful armies and led the people towards the Promised Land because of their faithfulness.

A Bold Gentleman: A Heart-Warming Story from Scripture

It is difficult to read the story of Ruth and Boaz and not be compelled to talk about it. It is an incredible story in the Bible, that is so encouraging and applicable to our day.

The book of Ruth is perfectly placed (of course) right after the book of Judges. We can read about so much evil  in the first seven books of the Old Testament, as people turn away from God, time and time again. Then, comes the story of Ruth and Boaz. Reading this story is like taking in a breath of fresh air, when God uses faithful people to turn unfortunate circumstances into times to be thankful.

In the beginning of the book of Ruth, Naomi and Ruth both lost loved ones. Naomi lost her husband and two sons, and Ruth lost her husband, who was one of Naomi's sons. It was tough. Ruth chose to stick by her mother-in-law's side, and they traveled to Bethlehem.

Ruth and Boaz were in the city of David, and the city where Christ would be born. Unexpectedly, the two of them met, when Ruth showed up at Boaz's field to pick grain.

Boaz was the owner of the field and gladly allowed Ruth to work for him. He had heard about her kindness to Naomi, and he showed her much kindness in return. Boaz told the other workers not to harm her. In fact, he told them to make sure she was well taken care of. Boaz told Ruth, "Pick up the grain that is left. I've told the men not to bother you. When you are thirsty, go and get a drink. Take water from the jars the men have filled."

Boaz was not back-biting or rude to those around him. He was bold and went out of his way to be kind. He cared for Ruth, and treated her like family. He eventually took her to be his wife.

There is so much to this story to appreciate!

1. Boaz wanted what was best for Ruth. He told her from the day they met, "May the Lord be with you." He showed sincerity in his words and actions. He was a gentleman.

2. Ruth recognized his kindness. She said, "You have made me feel safe. You have spoken kindly to me. And I'm not even as important as one of your servants!" She was attentive to his kindness. 

3. We can be thankful for the bad and good examples that God has for us to read in Scripture. We can see with certainty that we do not want the destruction that comes with those who choose evil. And, we can rest assured that those who turn towards Him can expect good things to come (Romans 8:28).

Thanks for reading!

~Melissa Seng

Why Do We Need the Bible?

This morning I was thinking about encouraging people to read the Bible, and a question came to my mind: Why do we read the Bible? Why does it matter? After all, we are born with the knowledge of good and evil and we seem to just know right from wrong as we assimilate ourselves into the culture. We have a society and laws based mostly upon Christian principles, so those teachings we accept at a young age. In addition, we can learn morals from our parents, our teachers, and our coaches when we are young. And as we grow, we learn from our peers and mentors. So why do we need the Bible?

As I work my way from Genesis through Revelation, I see history recorded and principles laid out for living a good life. I see a book full of advice, and I know that without following the advice and instructions in the Bible, we can expect emptiness and destruction. Proverbs 1:32 tells us that "foolish people will be destroyed by being satisfied with the way they live." We can destroy our lives if we are not following God's Word. We need encouragement and direction every day. 

I appreciate the wisdom in Proverbs 3:7-8: "...Have respect for the Lord and avoid evil. That will bring health to your body. It will make your bones strong." In a world with so many options, I hope you remember...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding.

In all your ways obey him. Then he will make your paths smooth and straight."

(Proverbs 3:5-6)

My Epiphany

As I was doing the dishes this evening, a striking realization came to my mind. That tends to happen a lot when I am keeping busy. It seems that as my body works hard at a task, my mind works even harder. This evening, I was thinking about what my role is in life. I was thinking about all the people I look up to and all the good that they do. I realized that I could just do a little bit of all these good deeds and implement them into my life. While it was a great idea, I realized that God places before me what he has for me to do. Opportunities come when God ordains for it to happen.

And, like a flash of lighting, the pressure was gone. I cannot do everything, but I can be the best wife to Bill and mother to my two boys that I can. In doing so, I can learn to be a great cook, home decorator, cheerleader, financial planner, teacher, and worker. I can focus because I know where my focus is to be. I am a child of God, and can be at peace with the duties that God has set before me.

I pray you do that same. For those of you with kids, I encourage you to get my book Wisdom for the Journey in Parenting: 50 Simple Tips for Christian Moms and Dads, so that you can take the steps to be the best parent that you can be. In my book, you can learn to measure your work by God standards, instead of that of all the people around you. The profit from sales now through December 2018 for  will go to the Cleveland Pregnancy Center.

www.williamhseng.com

Thanks for reading!
~Melissa Seng

Top Five Food Finds for the Fall

As the weather starts to cool, we will be getting in the spirit of Fall. Fall, often times, means football, food, and family time. Here are some healthy ways to enjoy food this Fall...

5. Banza pasta - This pasta is made completely from chickpeas! It looks and tastes just like pasta. And for people, like myself, with sensitive stomachs, you will even feel great, too.

4. Simple Truth Vegetable Chips - They are crispy, salty, and delicious.

3. Simple Truth Vegetable Broth - For people that just want nothing to do with meat, this is a great way to make soup! Instead of using chicken stock, I love this option!

2. Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate with Hazelnuts - What better way to eat hazelnuts than in chocolate!?

1. Bigelow Orange Spice Tea - It's fruity with just the right amount of spice.

It is always a pleasure to share my newest food finds, as I know that people are always looking for healthy options for the family.

Thanks for reading!
~Melissa Seng